So I've been reading this blog... real stories of women who broke free from religious fundamentalism after years of brainwashing and abuse. I found it by pure accident - the blog's founder, Vyckie Garrison, left a comment under an article I was reading on AlterNet.org, with a link to her site. I clicked on it out of pure curiosity - and ended up getting hooked for weeks, devouring the stories with my jaw hanging open most of the time. I had never even heard of the "Quiverfull" movement - let alone that it was gaining popularity in the US these days. Get it: there are actually increasing numbers of people who willingly adopt a "biblical" lifestyle, based on the "ideal" of the wife's complete submission to the will of her husband, as well as the desire to "leave family planning to the Lord" and have as many kids as the Lord sees fit, regardless of how the endless pregnancies might impact the woman's health and wellbeing. Now, at the time when the Earth is seriously overpopulated and poverty in many countries, including this one, reaches a new low. The mind boggles. This blog is a resource for women who have been sucked into this mire and want to get away, or who are trying to find themselves after getting away - a therapeutic retreat and a warning. Click on the link below to read the introductory post by Vyckie, where she explains how the site came into being:

http://nolongerquivering.com/about/

Alarmingly, the women who end up joining this movement are in no way stupid or easily deceived. Vyckie herself, as evident from her posts, is incredibly smart, thoughtful, well-read and strong-minded - and yet, it took a suicide attempt by her eldest daughter to make her start questioning the "rightness" of the life she was leading (despite her own deteriorating health from multiple pregnancies and lack of proper medical care). The site's co-founder, Laura, is another stunning example: raised by TWO LESBIANS (can you imagine a more open-minded upbringing?...), she still somehow managed to get married to a fundamentalist guy, get locked up in an isolated farmhouse and have 11 children, who then weren't even allowed to see their grandmother until she "gave up her sinful lifestyle". Fortunately for everyone involved, Laura "recovered" (after much pain and disillusionment, of course) and is now happily married to someone else, while both her children AND her parents still have a place in her life. Other stories are less positive in outcome. All in all, an absolutely fascinating read. Sometimes I can't tear myself away even if there is new V/O fic popping up on my flist - and that REALLY is saying something.:P

In more mundane news, I FINALLY found THE RIGHT shampoo for my wayward hair. It's made by a company called Kinky-Curly, and it REALLY does what it promises to do, while being completely natural and organic. Yay. It cost eleven bucks for one slim bottle, but yeah. Whole Foods and all that. The thing is, I used cheap shampoos for years and everything seemed fine - but lately my hair just started acting up on me, looking really nasty: dull, flat and lifeless as soon as a few hours after washing. WTF? I've always had naturally curly hair, especially since I cut it short about 10 years ago - it took just a little bit of moisture to make it look almost like a perm. And I was perfectly happy with that. I never really wanted to know how I would look without the curls; I had a feeling I would not like it. And I was right. When my hair refuses to curl like it used to, I look dowdy, bland, and old. *shudder* And, unfortunately, that really has a negative effect on my mood. So I'm happy to have my springy curls back.:) Now, if only a facelift was as effortless and inexpensive as changing a shampoo... LOL.

Yes, I am vain and shallow sometimes, and I will admit freely that aging scares me - probably for the wrong reasons, too. Yes, at some point I will get used to looking ugly, I suppose - but I haven't reached that point yet, so bear with me. *stands in front of mirror, frames face in hands and pulls the skin slightly upwards to see the young woman she used to be*

Also, the 3 lbs that I had dropped are back, and I think I need to start "watching" my diet more carefully again before this gets out of hand. Those organic snack bars I had bought at Whole Foods are wholesome and delicious, but unfortunately they have a pretty high fat content.:/ Which makes them more calorie-packed (though probably less filling) than a can of soup (even if they are ten times healthier, since they contain no sodium). Hmmm... tough choices. I wish I had more time for cooking - like, for example, making wholesome little snacks, side salads and stuff, in addition to the main lunch/dinner dishes. I really enjoy cooking - but I need my internet time too, dammit. *pouts*