Floating Leaf

Today I want to share a link to a fascinating article. Yes, another one of Charles Eisenstein's essays; I'm afraid I may have become a bit of a fan. ;-P This is a brand new one, though, and it gave me some valuable insights into the huge ideological "war" that seems to be raging across the US (and global, to some extent) media and the entire cultural landscape these days. Because I am somewhat allergic to politics, I tend to feel lost in the nuances of various popular controversies, puzzling over why on earth some people say or believe the things they do. So I am always grateful for a balanced, detached, thought-provoking explanation. And Charles seems to be really good at that. That's what drew me to his writing in the first place. His ability to step back from the polarization and offer a different perspective: not from "somewhere in the middle", but from OUTSIDE the entire dichotomy. Seeing the flaws, the blind spots and the "hidden gems" on either side. As well as delivering a hopeful message at the end, despite some really uncomfortable conclusions along the way. He really gave me a lot to process... and so I feel the need to quote a few choice bits. But first, here's he entire text:

https://charleseisenstein.org/essays/from-qanons-dark-mirror-hope/

Now for the uncomfortable conclusions. He basically starts out with a rather grim vision of the future that seems inevitable - unless we, as a society, collectively take a breath and examine the sources of our respective convictions, seeing the humanity in our apparent "enemies" and honestly searching for common ground. Here are the two "grim possibilities" he envisions: (1) In a few years a new and more formidable demagogue will arise to channel the repressed forces [= Trump supporters and other right wing groups] toward a fascist coup. (2) A neoliberal corporatocracy, costumed in the garb of progressive values, will consolidate its already well-developed powers of surveillance, censorship, and control to establish a techno-totalitarian state that will attempt to repress those forces forever. But then he also says this: (1) I believe that the blind spots both sides share are more significant, and more dangerous, than their disagreements, and (2) Beneath the conflict is a hidden unity that will emerge when all parties humbly try to understand the other.

So I've been chewing on that. ( Read more... )

A disturbing article on how pharmaceutical companies in the US create and "promote" new mental disorders in order to sell more drugs:

http://www.alternet.org/story/153634/7_reasons_america%27s_mental_health_industry_is_a_threat_to_our_sanity/?page=1

Ever wonder why we suddenly have so many mentally ill people in need of drug treatment, including small children?... Yeah, that would be why. If you're feeling brave, read the story of a four-year-old who died of a massive overdose. She had been diagnosed with ADHD AND bipolar disorder, and prescribed three different psychotropic drugs. Yeah, a four-year-old. Why? Because she was "hyper". And even though her parents went to jail after she died, the psychiatrist who prescribed the drugs wasn't even put on trial. She's still treating small children according to the same guidelines, "without any restrictions, penalties or supervision."

And here's the conclusion of the article, which I completely agree with:

When we hear the words disorder, disease or illness, we think of an individual in need of treatment, not of a troubled society in need of transformation. Mental illness expansionism diverts us from examining a dehumanizing society.

In addition to pathologizing normal behavior, the mental health profession also diverts us from examining a society that creates the ingredients — helplessness, hopelessness, passivity, boredom, fear, and isolation — that cause emotional difficulties. We are diverted from the reality that many emotional problems are natural human reactions to loss in our society of autonomy and community. Thus, the mental health profession not only has financial value for drug companies but it has political value for those at the top of societal hierarchies who want to retain the status quo.

In other words, apparently being human is now a disorder. We all need medication that will transform us into unfeeling, unthinking, unquestioning, docile androids. And if it kills us in the process, then oh well... accidents happen. At least someone made a profit.:/

Which reminds me of how a year ago, when I had landed myself in a nasty financial pickle and was feeling pretty crappy because of it, some people immediately suggested that I should seek "treatment for depression". Which, had I done it, would have most likely resulted in being handed a prescription for some mind-numbing pills. It kind of shocked me that this was apparently the most obvious "solution" to the problem in the eyes of those people - but perhaps I understand it better now. Not that I find it any less troubling - but at least I can see where it comes from...

I haven't been getting enough sleep lately... mostly because I tend to stay up too late nearly every night.:/ And then I sometimes randomly wake up about two hours before I'm supposed to get up - and can't fall asleep again. I think I need to get more serious about a regular sleeping schedule. As well as regular exercise. I haven't done ANYTHING in that department for a good few weeks.:/ Yes, I do walk a bit every day, since I no longer have a car - but that doesn't, just by itself, constitute a "healthy lifestyle". Basically, I need to spend less time glued to the computer. Which also means posting less often. It's either that, or muscle atrophy and a permanent headache... lol. I know I've been through this before, and I know I can improve my daily routine... but then, after a while, I tend to slip back into the old, unhealthy habits. So, every once and then, I need to give myself a reminder. And now is the time. Because I'm starting to feel crappy, and it just takes any fun out of "doing whatever the hell I want". *sigh* Luckily for me, this weekend we are moving back the clocks - which should help with the sleeping schedule readjustment. But regardless, I think I need to hit the pillows early tonight. As in, around 11 p.m. Yeah, that's early - which is, in itself, kind of disturbing during a work week.:/

So, if you hear a little less frequently from me over the coming weeks, this will be why. And today I just want to share an interesting link before I sign off. I was reading my favorite feminist blog at work today: http://tigerbeatdown.com/. And there was an article about the "war on drugs" and why Western society is so much more approving of alcohol (despite its obvious dangers) than, say, psychedelic mushrooms. The article quotes extensively from a book by botanist/philosopher Terence McKenna, "Food of the Gods: The Search for the Original Tree of Knowledge – A Radical History of Plants, Drugs, and Human Evolution". And I find those quotes fascinating. ( Let me just give an example: )

I've been reading about asexuality again. I've found this site: http://www.asexuality.org. Tons of useful information there, to say the least. I've barely started dipping into it, and I am a little overwhelmed at the moment.;) There are actual DATING SITES for asexual people, btw. Of course, my first thought was, "why on earth would you be interested in dating if you don't want to have sex?" - but then I thought again, and asked myself why I no longer check any of the dating sites I used to be on a few years back. And the answer is, "because I am not comfortable with people automatically assuming that if I like them/interact with them, I will at some point inevitably want to end up in bed with them, too". ( Read more... )

So, I have this big music post coming up, but I am not quite sure where to start. 'Cause that's what I've been busy doing for the past week or so - downloading music, creating playlists etc. It all started quite accidentally, with a random post by a randomly friended stranger, who was talking about how she randomly walked into a bookstore and ended up with an album she wasn't planning on buying, as well as a link to a free music download given her by the checkout clerk, who happened to be in a band. How awesomely coincidental is that? Well, here's the link in question:

http://theluckyjukeboxbrigade.bandcamp.com/

Only four tracks, but you can listen to them right there on the website, as well as download them for free. I think my favorite is Moroccan Fire Drill, but they're all pretty awesome - especially for a debuting band. Apparently, that was enough to awaken in me a wild hunger for new music - because I've been on a roll ever since.:)

Anyway... what my randomly friended flister described as "this Russian-French blues Piafian swing thing floating through the air" was the music of DeVotchKa. I got very intrigued (I'd heard of the band before, just never listened to their music), and promptly found several albums for free on Pirate Bay. And... yeah. French-Russian-Spanish-Italian-alternative-rock-folk-blues-film-noir-whatever-kinda-thing.;) Absolutely delicious.

But that was only the beginning. The abovementioned post also randomly referenced Goran Bregovic, whose music I have always loved. So I went on a random search for albums/tracks I might not be familiar with. Btw, I heartily recommend the website http://www.soundike.com/. They have nearly everything you can think of, music-wise, for the ridiculously low price of 15 cents per track. I ended up finding/rediscovering an obscure Polish band I never thought I'd hear again after my sister borrowed and lost their only album I had, years ago. But I digress.

All of the above sort of reminded me of Gogol Bordello, whom I had discovered back in 2007 or thereabouts (after watching the amazing film Everything Is Illuminated, starring Elijah Wood and the band's frontman, Eugene Hutz). I had bought the first two albums on CD, and then somehow stopped following the band's further progress for a few years. Until now. So imagine my delight when I found four other albums on Soundike. Now, here's where I am at a loss for words, because I feel like gushing profusely for about three hours, while in fact at this point in time I should already be in bed.:/ So I think I'm going to come back to this later. Let me just toss in the link to the band's official website:

http://www.gogolbordello.com/us/home

You can listen to some of their music on the website, and there are plenty of videos available on YouTube. I had meant to post some here, but I only managed to watch 3 or 4 before my prehistoric laptop "lost display functionality" again.:/ So no YouTube for me.:( Anyway... I'll leave it at that. For now. I can't possibly squeeze the awesomeness of this band into one sentence, and it's too late to keep trying anyway.:P

First, a link to an article on Thanksgiving and what it's really all about. Because, unlike my mother who thinks we should celebrate Thanksgiving for no other reason than that "we live in the US now and Americans celebrate it", I chose to actually inquire into the origins of said holiday and decide for myself whether I see a point in celebrating it. And, in all honesty, I do not.

http://www.alternet.org/news/148991/no_thanks_to_thanksgiving/

So, for me, it was just a regular Sunday dinner at my parent's place.:P Which really applies to all the traditional holidays (Christmas, Easter etc.), when I stop to think about it. I don't actually "celebrate" them, as in attach any symbolic meaning to them - I spend them with my parents, because THEY care about them, and about me being there. When I was still in Poland, and my parents already here, I didn't really mind spending those days alone. I actually tried to avoid/get out of holiday dinner invitations by extended family, because I felt much more comfortable by myself, holiday or not. But that's probably just proof of my antisocial tendencies.:P

Second, there's this author meme going around. The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen authors (poets included) who have influenced you and will always stick with you. List the first 15 you can recall in no more than 15 minutes, and they don't have to be listed in order of relevance to you:

( my list under the cut )

So, my chiropractor says I basically created another trigger point right there between my spine and my right shoulder blade (in addition to the two at the base of my neck). And I just have to be extra careful not to overwork that muscle. So no lugging heavy bags on my right shoulder. She put some needles in there today, applied some pressure to release the tension in the sore spot and tried to do an adjustment - but my back was too tight for the adjustment to work, so I am due for another appointment in two weeks. In the meantime, I am supposed to do some "cat stretches" and drink plenty of water (it's a good thing to remember that proper hydration can actually prevent muscle injury). The pain has eased much over the past few days, btw, so hopefully it won't get worse again unless I do something stupid (I was VERY careful with the shopping bags today and used only the left shoulder to carry the bigger ones, so I think I'll be fine).

Another thing that looks very promising as a source of long-term relief in the muscle department is this cool website I was directed to by stormatdusk:

http://www.anatbanielmethod.com

This woman basically invented a whole system of innovative exercises designed specifically to prevent and/or treat chronic pain and repetitive stress injuries - like those sustained by people who spend most of their time glued to the computer screen. Can I just say it's a godsend?... LOL. I got hooked immediately and signed up for this nifty "Desk Trainer" program, where a little animated guy tells you how to move your head/neck/arms etc. for a few minutes to avoid/relieve muscle stifness or pain. It's really cool, simple, effortless and can be done as often as needed. I'll be sure to take at least 1-2 such short exercise breaks every day. There are also CD's and DVD's with detailed exercise programs targetting specific areas of the body. I am seriously thinking of ordering some - but first I will do the free 42-minute mp3 lesson I have downloaded from the website (haven't had a chance to listen to the whole thing yet). If the exercise method is really as effective as the website claims, I should be feeling some positive change after that already. But we'll see. I just really like the holistic approach towards physical/mental wellbeing that those exercises seem to promote. I also like the idea of natural, chemical-free pain relief (like many people in the US, I have become extremely wary of the pharmaceutical industry - "taking a pill" is usually a last resort for me). So I suppose I might really get into this. I'll be sure to share the experience here if that happens.:)

( random work-related rant under the cut )

This is totally unplanned, but I can't resist. Here's another article. A therapist is talking about the role of innate predispositions - versus outside influences - in shaping our lives.

http://www.alternet.org/health/147676/do_our_personalities_pilot_the_way_we_live_our_lives

What compels me to post it is that the author is using her own personal experience as an example to illustrate her points, and some of those autobiographic bits gave me a few serious OMG THIS IS ABOUT ME moments. Except I never deluded myself that I could somehow become a completely different person if I tried hard enough - the way she seems to have done. I wasn't even aware that the concept of inborn "temperament" had been nearly dismissed by science and is only now making a "comeback". To me, there's nothing more obvious than the fact that some basic psychic core (or "character") is already in existence when a person comes into this world. It is then shaped by said world, obviously - to a large extent, perhaps - but even the ways it is shaped are somehow predetermined. Of course, someone could say this is a convenient excuse to justify your flaws instead of making the effort to work on them - but to me, the very fact that some people need to put this gigantic effort into overcoming something that others don't seem to have a problem with at all is proof enough. By all means, try to get a handle on the traits that are making your life difficult - but don't expect them to disappear just by sheer force of will. Telling people they are capable of that is pure bullshit. Saying: "If I can do XYZ, so can you" is bullshit too, and I apologize if I ever did that to anyone (I know I might have... lol).

But anyway... the author mentions her cat-like tendency to seek "warmth, light and solitude", and finds herself "smiling into the sunshine" while curled up on a comfy old couch with a good book, a steaming cup of tea by her side. That's me right there, basking in the golden afternoon light coming in through my west-facing windows, savoring my hard-earned peace and quiet (my rent almost equals my whole bi-weekly paycheck, so you can be sure the privacy of living alone is worth a lot to me and ranks pretty high on my priority list). And yes, just like the author, I too have a vivid memory of sitting alone in a sunlit room with a children's book in my lap when I was but a few years old. The HAPPINESS of it. 30+ years later, I can still feel it every once in a while. Funny that, isn't it?...:D

So I've been reading this blog... real stories of women who broke free from religious fundamentalism after years of brainwashing and abuse. I found it by pure accident - the blog's founder, Vyckie Garrison, left a comment under an article I was reading on AlterNet.org, with a link to her site. I clicked on it out of pure curiosity - and ended up getting hooked for weeks, devouring the stories with my jaw hanging open most of the time. I had never even heard of the "Quiverfull" movement - let alone that it was gaining popularity in the US these days. Get it: there are actually increasing numbers of people who willingly adopt a "biblical" lifestyle, based on the "ideal" of the wife's complete submission to the will of her husband, as well as the desire to "leave family planning to the Lord" and have as many kids as the Lord sees fit, regardless of how the endless pregnancies might impact the woman's health and wellbeing. Now, at the time when the Earth is seriously overpopulated and poverty in many countries, including this one, reaches a new low. The mind boggles. This blog is a resource for women who have been sucked into this mire and want to get away, or who are trying to find themselves after getting away - a therapeutic retreat and a warning. Click on the link below to read the introductory post by Vyckie, where she explains how the site came into being:

http://nolongerquivering.com/about/

Alarmingly, the women who end up joining this movement are in no way stupid or easily deceived. Vyckie herself, as evident from her posts, is incredibly smart, thoughtful, well-read and strong-minded - and yet, it took a suicide attempt by her eldest daughter to make her start questioning the "rightness" of the life she was leading (despite her own deteriorating health from multiple pregnancies and lack of proper medical care). The site's co-founder, Laura, is another stunning example: raised by TWO LESBIANS (can you imagine a more open-minded upbringing?...), she still somehow managed to get married to a fundamentalist guy, get locked up in an isolated farmhouse and have 11 children, who then weren't even allowed to see their grandmother until she "gave up her sinful lifestyle". Fortunately for everyone involved, Laura "recovered" (after much pain and disillusionment, of course) and is now happily married to someone else, while both her children AND her parents still have a place in her life. Other stories are less positive in outcome. All in all, an absolutely fascinating read. Sometimes I can't tear myself away even if there is new V/O fic popping up on my flist - and that REALLY is saying something.:P

In more mundane news, I FINALLY found THE RIGHT shampoo for my wayward hair. ( Read more... )

Happy St. Patrick's to all the Irish on my flist and anyone else who celebrates it for whatever reason.:) *waves a shamrock*

I am stuck at home today due to yet another plumbing disaster. This is becoming some sort of a neverending saga: if it's not the tub, then it's the kitchen sink, and if it's neither the kitchen sink nor the tub, then it has to be the bathroom sink. This time, it is the kitchen sink. Completely clogged since last night. As in, standing water that has to be scooped out every once in a while, because yes, the dripping tap that has been "fixed" several times already is dripping AGAIN, and so the water level is actually RISING. When I got up this morning, the sink was filled almost to the brim. No way could I just leave it like this and go to work. So I took the day off (at that rate, I'm going to use up all my personal/vacation time by mid-year :/) and called building management. No one picked up the phone. I left a message. Three hours later, I called again. Left another message. No call back so far. The OTHER number I have for maintenance issues is giving me an automated voicemail saying that they're "not available" right now and that they will respond ON THE NEXT BUSINESS DAY - unless it's an emergency. Which, theoretically, it isn't - as long as I am here, scooping the water out every 3-4 hours. Fun fun fun.:/

In other news, I found this random blog entry about Tanith Lee - a British fantasy author I've been reading, on and off, for the past few years. ( Read more... )

ETA: I finally got a call from the building management, sometime after 2 p.m. The plumber arrived after 5 p.m. He brought several massive pieces of equipment, including a gigantic bucket, and cleaned out the mess in record time. The tap's still dripping, because this is old plumbing and the replacement parts are not that easy to obtain at a moment's notice - but at least the water is going DOWN... Hallelujah.:) I can cook now, without having to worry what on earth I'm going to do with the resulting mountain of dirty dishes (washing them in the bathtub seemed decidedly unappealing... *shudder*). So, on to make a delicious Mediterranean chicken salad (with red onion and pear slices and crumbled feta cheese and walnuts and garlic croutons and all kinds of good stuff, yay). *slurp*

Btw... the three pounds I had previously gained in a week? They're gone. Last week's nervous tension ate them. Give me just a little bit of stress, and my angsty quivering burns the calories off like there's no tomorrow. Guess when I had the best figure? Yeah, during that epically toxic saga of my first "romantic" relationship. Not a healthy way to stay in shape, by any stretch - but I certainly hadn't heard of a wholesome diet at that point in my life, and yet I was skinny as a supermodel. As well as severely neurotic, desperately disturbed and obsessively unhappy, but yeah... the looks, I had them. Not that the price was worth it or anything... but it's a fact of life for me. I only have to watch what I eat when I am in a happy, peaceful state of mind. Weird but true. Just saying.