Floating Leaf

I know I have said this several times already this year, but... the summer has arrived. For real this time. *knocks on wood* ;) I wore one of my most revealing dresses today: spaghetti straps, plunging neckline (with a cotton sports bra peeking out from underneath) and skirt that barely reaches the knee (that's as short as you'll ever see me wear outside; I hate exposing my flabby thighs, no matter how hot it is). I LOVE that dress. It was ridiculously cheap (I got it at Target, I think), but it has such a perfect cut for me: tight-fitting around the chest and flaring out from beneath. Sort of like those Empire-style gowns - except it's shorter, of course, and sleeveless, as well as dark (bluish) grey instead of white. But it does a perfect job of emphasizing the package (*ahem*) and masking some other less enticing curves (those around the waistline, LOL). Makes me look younger, I think. I usually feel very self-conscious whenever I put on something revealing - so a hot summer can be challenging, clothes-wise. But if I find something that fits just right, I am suddenly a flower-child all over again...;P

Going to see my parents tomorrow, since I couldn't go last Sunday. I have not scheduled Monday off this time, since I need to save my precious PTO days for when I REALLY need them - but I was sort of productive today, so I should manage just fine. It is too hot to cook anyway, so I made a simple salad - and will make another one Monday or Tuesday after work. I will not clean the place, obviously - but it should hold another week...

Btw, my parents are getting serious about buying an apartment building. My mother has been mentioning it for the past year or two - but I thought it was more wishful thinking than anything else (if she really has the means to do something, she usually just does it, instead of just talking about it). Also, the plan kept changing - first it was supposed to be an investment property for renting out; then just a small three-apartment complex with a flat for themselves, me and my sister, respectively; but when I talked to my dad just now, he also mentioned the possibility of them buying a smaller house for themselves (the one they have now will be too expensive to keep once they retire) AND a condo for me. As some of you may remember, my mom tried very hard to talk me into buying a condo a few years ago - but it didn't work out (mainly due to my lack of credit history under my new name). My parents will have no trouble getting approved for a mortgage, however. So it is quite possible that in a not-so-distant future they will become my landlords.:) (And then, I am assuming, I would "inherit" the place at some point.) They are looking at properties closer to the city, as well as to the suburb where I work. Well... we'll see what happens. I admit that I find the prospect of another move somewhat terrifying - but then again, I do not intend to spend the rest of my life in this scrawny, dilapidated rental studio either... so it's just as well that they are willing and able to help me out. I'll keep you posted on the progress of this venture, of course.:)

Last but not least, I watched an absolutely chilling drama yesterday. We Need to Talk About Kevin. It was shown during the Chicago International Film Festival two years ago, but I didn't see it then - I just made a note to myself to check it out later, then forgot about it. But finally it did end up in my Netflix queue. And now I feel immensely relieved that I don't have children.;P Because, to put a long story short, the question this film asks is this: What do you do if your child grows up to be a monster? Are you to blame? Could you have prevented the evil he caused?... Is he the way he is because of something dark deep inside of you that you weren't even aware of?... Tilda Swinton delivers a stunning performance as the tortured mother - and all the three boys who play Kevin in various stages of his life are also rather chillingly good at displaying his sociopathic tendencies. It's such a morbidly fascinating topic, really; especially for people who have personal experience of a mother/child relationship that doesn't work quite the way it should. Of course, not all "unloved/unwanted" children grow up to be murderers; but it's all a matter of degree, and I could certainly identify with some of Kevin's less destructive passive/aggressive behaviors (like refusing to do/say something simply because you KNOW it will make mom feel bad; oh, I've done that countless times, except I liked to pretend to myself I didn't realize what I was doing... while little Kevin was quite blatant and unapologetic about it). And looking from the other side: you THINK you love your child, but do you really?... If you have doubts, rest assured that the child will notice. Infants are incredibly perceptive when it comes to non-verbal clues. You may deceive yourself, but the tiny creature who is so absolutely dependent on you for its survival simply KNOWS. And that is perhaps the most terrifying thing of all...